President Bush’s Earlobes and The Mid Term Election

The Democrats should thank President Bush’s earlobes for the win.

President Bush has the best earlobes.  If his earlobes were a wee bit more elongated, they would be mistaken for Buddha’s earlobes.  The Chinese believe that a pair of chubby earlobes can help the owner fan off danger in his or her path.  I believe in portly earlobes.  Two fat earlobes, plump as toes, can protect you from ruinous luck.  They can also give you guiltless peace and plenty.  They can make you feel guiltlessly free.  Believe me, double-fat earlobes double the auspiciousness.  Bill Gates has olive earlobes, cerignola, not kalamata.  So do Ellen Degeneres, Jay Leno, and Oprah.  Alan Greenspan has earlobes as big as tomatoes, roma.  And President Clinton, how shall I explicate.  Basically, had he had earlobes as big as quail eggs, he could have been swallowed by Monica Lewinski and no one would have noticed.  When Carolyn Bessette died, I was sad and I knew why.  She was almost earlobe-less.

It’s the earlobes, really.  In 2000, Al Gore lost to George W. Bush by an earlobe.  I didn’t want to believe this then, but everytime I saw Al Gore on TV, the cruel fact stared me in the eyes: he has earlobes as lean as mung beans. 
 

In 2004, John Kerry had (and still has) good earlobes but President Bush had (and still has) great earlobes. 
 

What is my point?  My point is this:
 

First I thought, even the luckiest earlobes couldn’t help our (guiltlessly free) President on November 7 as he had been stay-the-course arrogant for way too long.  Second I thought, perhaps, it is not a matter of the earlobes’ inability to assist but a matter of the wise earlobes’ going on strike, refusing their owner their power.  Then, I thought, no, wait, President Bush’s lucky earlobes are working their butts off for him, to steer him back to common sense and common ground and hopefully a less tainted legacy in the end.  His earlobes know a Democrat sweeping win in mid term elections will jolt him out of his stupor.  They are dying for him to see wider and clearer, beyond his base, his country, his people, his God, his time, himself, the best course for mankind, for he is the President of a super power that consumes much world resources, posesses much nuclear arsenal, can inflict much wrath on the soil of smaller nations.
 

Will President Bush’s earlobes succeed in steering their master from going further astray?  Letting Ronald Rumsfeld go is a great lucky earlobe step to take.  I have faith, I have hope, in this very lucky afternoon of November 8, as I pen my two-earlobe-cents on politics which I take as seriously as the earlobes I meet.
 

One last thing, if you didn’t know about the Chinese belief in fat earlobes, if you don’t see it at all, I urge you to keep an open heart, for the simple reason that what we don’t see don’t hear don’t know is not Nothing.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 20th, 2006 at 2:22 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.